The problem of stuttering. Part Two.
We continue the theme of the struggle with stuttering. I have an opinion on this issue, which is slightly different from the usual, but I believe that to someone it will be interesting and most importantly – useful. That’s the gist of it. A man with a stammer can speak quite normally in a relaxed atmosphere, with people whom he knows well and is not worried about how it is perceived. However, only worth it to be in an unfamiliar place with strangers as it starts. In fact, fear and anxiety provoking stuttering, this in turn increases the excitement and fear.
The vicious circle between fear and stuttering – the more fear the more stutters, stammers more, the more afraid. You can break this cycle, if fear will be defeated. It’s certainly not just for his victory needs constant work on yourself, willpower, patience, and even so happened that due to the disease by working on themselves, people become very brave and great. (For example, the eminent British politician Winston Churchill, in his youth had a stutter, but defeated this, and finally became a prominent politician, he had to give speeches in front of millions of people.)
If we analyze the cause of fear, which leads to stuttering it’s just the fear that the people around you perceive not how you’d like. To get rid of it is worth to reconsider its relations with the outside world in general and may even change some of your values. This will allow accepting the fact that the people around you may be perceived you as anything and it is not worth much to worry about it. If so, then there is no reason to fear. People who stutter, I would suggest the following: love your stuttering when the conversation began to stutter, stutter then boldly and confidently, because your stuttering is part of your personality and there is nothing to be ashamed of. It is not necessary to get rid of stuttering, but it is necessary to love your stuttering. I can illustrate this talk of Anthony De Mello, entitled “Do not change.”
I was always nervous. I was anxious, gloomy and selfish. Everybody always said to me that I need to change.
I resisted, and agree with all, and wanted to change, but just could not. No matter how I tried, I could not.
Most of all I am saddened by the fact that my best friend was at one with all and insisted that I need to change. I felt absolutely helpless.
But once he told me: “Do not change … I love you just the way you are.”
I relaxed. Returned to the joy of life. And suddenly I changed!
If you agree with what I wrote, this is cool, if you do not agree – too cool. If you take me – well, if you do not agree – too well.
I myself have never suffered from stuttering, but what I wrote here, it can be applied in the struggle not only with stuttering, but also with other psychological complexes, (a stammer, in fact, is one of psychological complexes) to get rid from the complex should take it.
Here, readers can be a legitimate question, if everything is so easy, then what appears to work on yourself, willpower, patience, and wrote about the lines above. And those know and understand – it is really two different things. All smokers know that smoking is a harmful thing, but still continue to smoke. If they knew it – they would not smoke.
In psychology such a law is valid: knowledge about how to solve the problem – the first step to solving it, understanding that you know – the last one. So, let’s have a drink (tea, of course) for an understanding of what we know.